Separation Anxiety in the Corporate World

Comings and goings are a normal part of every company. Both involve varying levels of trepidation, anxiety, excitement and, almost always, consulting with persons we trust before deciding. Even in today’s market, there are people who choose to leave their jobs for another.

True story: Rebecca (not her real name) recently left her firm after four months of deliberation. Less than a year prior, she had been headhunted and joined this 50-person firm with a sign-on bonus binding her from voluntarily leaving for two years. After the initial few months, her workload slowed dramatically and what little work there was failed to meet her expectations in terms of career progression and challenge. She expressed her discontent to members of the management a few times. The months passed and Rebecca began arriving at 10:00 or 11:00, sitting idly at her desk, heading out by 4:00 or 5:00, taking long weekends and finally, interviewing elsewhere. But her plan was to wait for the yearly review before letting them know she had accepted an offer elsewhere, knowing the firm would award both raises and bonuses. As she sees it, the firm failed her and she worked, so why shouldn’t she get paid? Things got messy because the firm decided to take action only a few days before the bonus was due despite months of clear warning signs. I have to ask- How did the firm not recognize the pattern of behavior and take the right steps to handle the situation? (PS- The firm is, of course, in the financial services sector where such nonsensical common practices as sign-on bonuses and almost guaranteed promotions exist).

To be clear, I do not advocate Rebecca’s behavior (in fact, I am strongly opposed to her lack of work ethic) however she conveyed her feelings to her employer thereby inviting them to address the issue. One of the battles I, as a manager, waged was that my staff grant me similar opportunity to be part of their decision making process. We all consider new and different paths during our lives. And while today’s balance of power lies with the employer, it will shift back. So while this article may seem a bit anachronistic now, when the tide turns, firms that have cared will succeed in retaining their talent which will result in higher profitability in part because employee churn is one of the greatest unquantified and underestimated detractions from the bottom line.

A brilliant counselor advised me to remind myself every day while walking into the office or starting the day that my staff have a choice - they don’t have to work for me! I should make sure that while we’re all working hard- and be assured we did- we were feeling good about ourselves and our place of work. Part of making this happen is cultivating a work environment which is conducive to communication, one in which employees share their career aspirations. When an employee would share with me their deliberations, I committed first, to no repercussions and second, to responding truthfully. If we, the company, could help you achieve your goals, we would and when we couldn’t, we would let you know, so you could then find the best way forward for you.

Employees benefit because this conversation opens the door to possibilities, both those they have considered and ones that their managers may be contemplating. In this regard, employer-employee relations are similar to that of parent-child. Parents, like managers, tend to know what’s happening in other departments and have plans for the future, information to which the employee may not be privy and which may be influential in the decision making process.

As managers, we benefit from this practice because it facilitates smarter, more accurate planning. (In the case of Rebecca’s firm, they should have understood her leaving was inevitable, planned appropriately and saved themselves a decent amount of money to put towards employees who were vested in the company’s future). Furthermore, for decades now, research and studies in the western world have decreed that one of the top three factors in an employee staying with their firm is the relationship they have with their direct manager.

For me the equation is simple: happy people are productive people and happy, productive people make for happy clients.

It therefore follows that every firm benefits from supporting its employees in achieving their career goals (provided they are viable), just as every employee benefits from fulfilling their commitments to the best of their ability. In this regard, employee-employer relations are similar to that of husband-wife or whatever partnership exists. Each and every one of us contributes to our success as an individual and the success, or failure, of the unified entity.

Like a marriage, acknowledging that the possibility of separation exists is a constructive part of this relationship. It can be incorporated into the employee evaluation process to ensure it’s regularly but not excessively addressed. I’m an advocate for making it a part of our mentality. A workplace which fosters open and constructive interaction is one where separations, when they do, are better managed it is an amicable parting with pleasant memories.

Nevertheless, despite all good intentions, acrimonious exits occur. When they do, we need to remember that wherever we are, our behavior, both in and out of the workplace, builds our image, as individuals and as employees. In her book entitled Women Make the Best Salesmen, author Marion Luna Brem refers to Carl Sewell, a large luxury car dealer in the US, who includes the following in the code of ethics he has for his employees: “If you wouldn’t want your actions printed in your hometown newspaper, or shown on the local news, don’t do them.”

If you think about it, it’s understandable why this applies both during and after employment. If we speak poorly of our previous place(s) of employment, it reflects poorly upon us- as we were part of that organization for a recognized period of time. (The reverse is equally applicable). Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage.” In our world, where so much of it is virtual yet ironically indelible, this is especially true.